I have never had a relationship. Yes, there were those junior high "relationships" that everyone had at one point. They were as common as Furbies or Giga pets. People ran through them like an adolescent through his/her first package of condoms. In my eyes, those relationships don't really count in the relationship category. If you go around telling people that you dated "so-and-so" because he/she are now famous for whatever, that is a lie. You just simply expressed an attraction for the opposite sex at an early age of pubescence. You can go around telling people that the person who is now the editor of GQ magazine or who is now currently making out with Johnny Depp on the red carpet once had a crush on you. That's fine. But, you and that person never had a relationship. I have been close to having one, but either it's something she did or I did that either of us cannot get over and endure.  (In the future, life permitting, I plan on listing the Top Five "Girls That Got Away" so, stay tuned) I have been focusing on this one chapter in my life as of late. I don't know why, but it just meandered its way across the main avenue of my mind and sat down with my conscience for a drink in the saloon. It's about a girl, of course, but this girl is nothing like I have expressed in my previous blogs. 

Please, let's call her Meagan. Now, Meagan is a very beautiful, smart, responsible young woman. She basically had all of things I was looking for at that time in the opposite sex. The only thing that was off-putting was that she came on way too strong and started talking about the strong feelings she had for me. I, being uncomfortable and scared by this, pushed her away. Don't get me wrong, I liked this girl. I liked her. But I'm the kind of guy where if I like someone, I have to take it slow and see if we are right for each other. Now, a year has passed and while I look back on it and her, I realize something. She showed me some things that some girls that I have been crazy for could never show:

1. She wore her feelings and thoughts on her sleeve and wasn't afraid to have people think otherwise.
2. She expressed undying devotion towards me and we weren't even going out. To have someone cherish you and your presence like that is something that no one should overlook. I didn't really think about it while it was right in front of me. I had to get burned by someone else to see it clear and true.

So, I deeply apologize to you, Meagan. I'm sorry I was so blind and immature when you met me. I hope and pray for the best for you. I know you will continue to be a beautiful person. I will also like to thank you for showing me something that I should have been looking for the whole time. 

See ya around,

Lucas James