The Last Time I Was On Cotton Street...

So, "I'm here on business." is what I say to this chick. So, what does she say? "Let me see your badge." I was like..whoa! y'know because I'm here to get this lady's cat out of her tree and she's here barking up MY tree. I mean, what the hell? So, I tell her to be quiet while I call for the fire department...little do I know this chick is sneakin' up behind me with a damn crowbar and is about knock my brains out from here to Timbuktu. I see this coming out of the corner of my eye and duck at the last second, but it still catches my ear and rips it off. So, I got my walkie-talkie in my right hand and the cascading fountain of blood where my ear used to be in my left. I pass out because all off the blood I lost and next thing I know I'm on my back in the hospital. I wake up to the sound of shitty day-time TV and I look to my left and I see a bag. What's in the bag? It's my fucking ear. My fucking ear covered in ice. The bitch somehow got me to the hospital, got me admitted to the ER. And put my ear in a bag next to me for when I wake up. THAT is one crazy bitch. Nice tits though.